My problem..

I know that i love my current BF, but why do i still care about my past??? There's seriously something wrong with me... Is this normal? I don't know...I am not sure about other girls out there but i really hate this feeling...It SUCKS~


I am pretty much certain that i have no feelings whatsoever for him anymore but why do i still try keep track of how he's doing?? i tend to check his Facebook status once in a while, ask his friends about him and i even feel satisfied driving past places he usually lingers at and i never see him at all...BUT i dun hope to bump into him someday too(so crazy right? yea~ i noe...)


This guy i am referring to is my most loved one among the previous BFs...and also the one who hurt me most.Everyone wishes for a term of relationship that he/she would both cherish and later on blossom beautifully but among 10 couples how many can make it??? Not many i guess...


He has been a super possessive Bf in the 3 years we were togeda. He never lets me wear shirts with a big collar, or tight-fitting tees when going out with friends. Not to mention miniskirts; those are definitely out of the topic..But overall, i know that he does all that to protect me, to prevent me from shaming in front of other guys...I understand that we were both in a long distance relationship and many ppl say that this would never work out well but I had been a good and obedient Gf then, i trusted him with all my heart and i always tried my best to make him happy. He has his good points and i really adore him for those. 


In 3 years, we quarreled and fought a lot, via phone and sms', fought over small matters and even things that came out from my mouth could make him mad at me. All my friends did not like him, saying that he is too possessive and arrogant. I din mind, and i still stayed togeda with him. Long-distance so wat? I prove to you guys we can make it la~~~There's a saying, 男人不坏女人不爱....haha, is this true? He's not exactly‘坏’to me..but jus strict..It's jus for my own good. He controlled my attire, my actions and controlled the way i throw words out of my mouth jus to make me into a better person. I understand his tantrum to me sometimes; thats because we're so far from each other..Which loving couple would not worry about the other half? He always alwaysss is the one who make up for every argument, bad or worst...TQ for that...I am a overbearing brat i know....sorry okay?


When we broke up, because of some major reasons, I was really sad, super sad u could say...My friends in class said i deserved it for not listening to their advise. That time i could not help but jus cry even louder.  And it's the first and the last time im gonna cry in school. I used to be so tough and loud and strong in school. But y make myself so weak because of a guy??? I wont mention the suicide part here because thats double humiliating. 
I learnt my lesson, never do stupid actions for a guy..It's not worth it.. You will only make them feel proud and boast to others.. We should always cherish our lives and our health for the sake of ourselves.


He is a good guy, really..In love, nobody is right nor wrong. It's jus the time thats not right and we are not fated to be togeda. We might not be friends anymore but i will never forget him and the memories we ever had...Recently, i heard him falling for another girl...And it's not the playful flirty type..He is very picky when it comes to finding GFs, and im sure he's made his choice and this is the right girl for him.


Now, I have my own perfect and too-good-to-be-true BF oredi and i sincerely hope that they too are blissful and happy together, Good luck C-man~